Winter Woods Moving Into Spring

 I love the winter woods.  Of course spring and fall are spectacular, but the winter has a special charm.  The woods are surprisingly green.  We have holly,  evergreens, lots of winter ferns, and acres of creeping cedar.  And one of my favorite winter "greens" is the moss that has taken over many of our trails.  It doesn't seem to mind be trampled.

This year we had a bit more snow than usual.  And while that can make life difficult in a climate that rarely gets snow, it also gives us play (sledding!) and a special beauty in the woods.  It's lovely to be the first person on a snowy morning tramping the pristine snow (or almost pristine, because my dog is usually leading the way).

A special favorite of mine is the beauty of the beech trees in winter.  The lovely parchment leaves hang on to the trees, and the abundance of beech in our woods fills the landscape with beige, brown and gold.  These leaves are especially brilliant on a dark day, just after a rain, when the tree bark is wet and dark, and the leaves shine against the dark sky.  I've always wanted to paint this, but so far, I just keep taking photos!

 

I felt both joy and sadness last week when I saw the first trout lilies.  They are the first wildflower of spring, so brave and bright.  I know when I see the trout lilies that every week, and sometimes every day, I will see another spring wildflower.  Soon the beech leaves will be replaced by brilliant spring green across the landscape.  Both are lovely in their way.  Today I saw the first trillium -- the stunning toadshade trillium.  I usually think of them as coming out in early April.  I'm not sure if they are early, but maybe they were tired of snow and ice and poked up as soon as we had that weird 85 degree day this week!  Anyway, the winter woods are passing the torch to spring, and, while I feel restful and awed by our winter woods, I know it is time to be energized by the wildflowers, and move along with them into the next chapter. Happy spring!

My Favorite Photos from 2025

I’m usually taking photos everywhere I go, for myself, and to use for our community website or newsletter. I want to display a few of my favorites. You may have seen some of these in one of our publications. However many others are taken purely for my own enjoyment. So to follow are some of my favorites, and a little description of the stories behind them. Hope you enjoy!

Channele, one of our newest members, creates extraordinary textiles. Along with her weaving, I was particularly drawn to her hand braided rugs scattered throughout her home. Her eye for color creates gorgeous combinations, colors blending and playing off of each others. 

 

The night-blooming cereus is a type of cactus known for its spectacular, white flowers (about 10” wide) that open at dusk and wilt by dawn. Blooming for one night only, it has earned the nickname “Queen of the Night”. This plant was grown from a cutting my parents gave me years ago. Often they would throw rowdy night-blooming cereus parties for their friend to witness this grand opening!

Back in March, the community had a going away party for Choetso, a beloved member leaving for a Monastic Training Program in Oregon. Because her monasty traditionally wore burgundy, we all incorporated this color into our choice of clothes, table settings, and food preparation. Many of us even went so far as to paint our fingernails, which explains why we’re all showing off our hands! 

 

One of my favorite summertime pastime is sitting at surf’s edge, waiting for the tide to come in at Sunset Beach in North Carolina. There are many spectacular beaches within three to four hours of Elderberry. I believe Sunset Beach is the most magical place for me on hot summer days!

 

Donna and I spent a day at the Eno Festival, an annual folk and arts festival started in 1980 by the Eno River Association. As we were wandering through the many vendors and booths, we came upon a bubble machine. I loved seeing Donna surrounded by iridescent spheres, and catching her delighted smile!

 

 During this year’s St. Patricks Day Celebrations, Jeff and Anne posed for their photo, inspired by their t-shirt, “Kiss me I’m German”!

 

 One of our many community potluck dinners — so much delicious food to choose from! I’ve been know to eat so much that I take my desserts home for the next day. Oh yes, let me mention, we have another entire table just for desserts!

This past year, the Hive Committee took on the task of reconfiguring how we use different rooms and spaces in the Hive. One of the tasks was to find new tables and chairs that could be easily moved and reconfigured for different events. After much research, a small group of us took a road trip to explore a used chair warehouse about two hours away. Tom (along with Tiki) and I had to literally climb over chairs to investigate anything that looked interesting! 

Repair Cafes happen everywhere. We’re fortunate to have many skilled and talented folks here who offer their experience to help keep broken items out of land fills. I was amused about how many helpers were clustering around this one project!

This past summer several of us visited Blind Spot Animal Sanctuary, in Rougemont. For the past ten years, Alesja and Alex, along with a large team of volunteers, rescue, rehabilitate and care for animals who have been surrendered, abandoned or exploited. Alesja told heartfelt stories about so many of the animals living on this amazing sanctuary. I’ve always been fascinated by pigs, from stories of my dad would tell about growing up poor, and befriending the pig meant to feed the family. So I took some time to make friends with this very large pig!!!

Goodnight happens rain or shine! It’s an opportunity for everyone, including canines, to say hello, and catch up! You never know what topics might be discussed! 

I have a beautiful stretch of woods directly behind my home. I have spent much time tending this little piece of Elderberry. When I first moved in, there was construction debris, poison ivy, greenbriar, honeysuckle, as well as trash from the old homestead (long before we had the luxury of weekly trash pick up, country folks would simply create piles of trash in the woods near their homes). I have loved watching the seasons change, and the bird life that comes to my bird baths outside my window. It seem every home at Elderberry has some unique setting, and probably everyone might feel their location is the best!

 

Solstice is a yearly event, established years ago by Vonda and Cecil when they lived in their old farmhouse at Potluck Community Farm just across the field behind our homes. A cooking party, usually with an ethic theme, is prepared with several courses, designed to keep the revelers awake throughout the night to greet the sun. Luminaries are set out along the paths to welcome everyone! For years, this was my favorite party, when I could stay awake past midnight. Now I attend for a time, leave early to watch the huge bonfire, and head back home to bed at a “reasonable”hour!

Because, a poem by Rosemerry Trommer

So I can’t save the world—

can’t save even myself,

can’t wrap my arms around

every frightened child, can’t

foster peace among nations,

can’t bring love to all who

feel unlovable.

So I practice opening my heart

right here in this room and being gentle

with my insufficiency. I practice

walking down the street heart first.

And if it is insufficient to share love,

I will practice loving anyway.

I want to converse about truth,

about trust. I want to invite compassion

into every interaction.

One willing heart can’t stop a war.

One willing heart can’t feed all the hungry.

And sometimes, daunted by a task too big,

I tell myself what’s the use of trying?

But today, the invitation is clear:

to be ridiculously courageous in love.

To open the heart like a lilac in May,

knowing freeze is possible

and opening anyway.

To take love seriously.

To give love wildly.

To race up to the world

as if I were a puppy,

adoring and unjaded,

stumbling on my own exuberance.

To feel the shock of indifference,

of anger, of cruelty, of fear,

and stay open. To love as if it matters,

as if the world depends on it.

Because, by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

“Why is cohousing so expensive? Tiny houses too?”

 “Why are cohousing units so expensive?  As chair of the Membership Committee at Elderberry, I hear that a lot, despite the fact that we seem to be the least expensive community in our region of North Carolina,¹

Right now, Elderberry has our one tiny house above (325 square feet) for sale.  And we’ve heard that question again.  So, I looked up a Forbes February 26, 2024 article “How Much Does A Tiny House Cost?”² and this is what it said - “On average, a tiny home costs about $50,000...The cost you’ll end up paying for tiny homes depends on the size, quality and details of the house you choose…. a custom tiny house with custom features and build-ins can easily cost as much as $100,000 or more.” 

Now, Elderberry’s tiny house is selling for $165K (its appraised value; and it definitely fits the custom features mentioned above).  But, where do the extra costs come from in this house and in cohousing units in general?

In cohousing, as in condos, planned communities, HOAs, etc. homeowners often jointly own community property as well,  Therefore, that share of the entire property is added to the cost of each house.  But cohousing really does share some additional, very special features.

We had some fun at Elderberry brainstorming the amenities included with our tiny house and you can apply many of these to homes in other cohousing communities. 

First of all, it’s a permanent house – custom-designed with special environmental and accessibility features, sturdily built on a foundation on a lot that you own – not by developers who were interested in making a quick buck, but by fellow community members who plan to live here as neighbors for a long time.  And these same folks designed, and continue to maintain, a ton of community features around their homes and this particular tiny home.

Here’s the fun part – a list of things you DO NOT NEED in your home here because the community has already provided them in the common house (which in this case is only about 33 steps from the door of our tiny home).

·         Washers & dryers

·         Guest bedroom and bath

·         A great big kitchen. full of every pot, pan, utensil, dish and appliance you could need (including shared freezer space)

·         Big tables and a bunch of chairs in case your relatives/friends decide to party with you!

·         Exercise equipment

·         A comfy seating area by the woodstove, as well as a large-screen TV to share movies and broadcasts

·         Craft space, with a sewing machine

And there’s more –

·         Dog park with lots of room to run and play

·         Plenty of space to garden

 ·         Trail system (we are lucky enough that Potluck Farm community next door shares their miles of wooded trails with us.  And, many communities are also situated in or near beautiful natural settings)

·         Lawn chairs, swing, picnic tables, grills and fire pit (the light brown house in the center of this photo is our tiny house)

·         Woodshop and a machine shop with every manner of tool, bolt/screw/or whatsit you could ever need

·         Tool barn and garden shed with more equipment than a hardware store – think ten wheelbarrows and seven weedwhackers and ladders of every size!

 ·         Solar panels

Do these things add to the value and therefore the cost of the house?  Of course!  But the other cool thing about cohousing is that there’s not some manager or realtor who has no concern for whether I personally can afford to live here.  Instead, here (and other cohousing communities) my neighbors are consistently trying to keep costs down for all of us.

And last there are the intangible things to balance costs.  This mostly consists of fellow members who—

·         Can help you learn how to use all the things above and maybe even keep you from having to hire someone.

 

·         Will share what they have with you (from a pint of half-&-half to a ride to the airport)

·         Will help you live a healthier life – eating, exercising, gardening, working together and laughing

·         Give you a reason to come out and play – for free!

Okay, I know that if you’re interested in cohousing, you are looking for more than an inexpensive kit house to just plop down somewhere,  but I just wanted to give you a perspective on why cohousing does cost more and what that money buys you.  Come visit³ Elderberry’s tiny house or any other cohousing community and see what I mean.  

¹ Elderberry is 20 minutes north of Durham; and our region has at least 10 cohousing communities.

²  https://www.forbes.com/home-improvement/contractor/tiny-house-cost/#:~:text=On%20average%2C%20a%20tiny%20home,researching%20common%20tiny%20house%20costs

³If you’d like to visit, just e-mail me (Karolyn) at richard.mangeot@usa.net and definitely look at https://www.elderberrycohousing.com/homes-available.html

Working and Cohousing!

Nobody says “I want to live in cohousing so I can work!” 

And yet, work is a part of every cohousing community. You live together, you work together. But what I’ve learned from attending conferences and reading list-serves, is that the definition and the expectations/requirements of “work” are different at every community. And you should probably ask about this upfront.

At Elderberry work actually starts with the Membership Process itself. It requires participation in at least one of our work days (which we have twice a month for 3 hours each). That’s because we want prospective members to know what we mean by “work” here. And we want them to know that we expect participation in our “work”.

The first Cohousing National Conference I attended I sat in awe as someone explained the impressive system their community had developed to keep track of every member’s work hours. They would credit or dock members’ money for hours worked or not worked. Wow!... We don’t do that at Elderberry.  

At Elderberry we do our best to make the point that we’re all in this together, and every work contribution each person makes benefits the community and… helps keep our assessments down.  

We also want folks to realize that it can actually be fun to work together.

I will never forget my first time at the annual work day at Bella Vista, our forest overlook. The jobs offered were “running a bush hog, driving the tractor, or chain-sawing”. Turns out there was another option — picking up rocks! You say, you’ve never done any of those things? Here’s your chance to add one to your skillset… or just pick up rocks.

Don’t get me wrong. You don’t have to be Superman or woman to work here. Not everybody has the strength, the endurance or dexterity to do every job. But they can work on committees; they can bring snack to the other workers; they can research where to buy mulch; they can even write a blog!

Because Elderberry is rural and because we have a tradition from our very beginning of developing the buildings and properties ourselves, we tend to like to work outdoors together — on the landscaping, in the gardens, on our trails,

and even on local roads where we pick up trash!

Like all cohousing communities, we also have work indoors. There are regular maintenance jobs in the “Hive”* from vacuuming to washing windows to cleaning the bathrooms (sorry about mentioning that last one!) *The “Hive” is our Common House, which comes from one of our values of “Living in a beehive of activity.”

And speaking of a Beehive of activity, we have our own SWARM! It developed because our original Work Coordinating Committee was too dull. If you ask every single person at Elderberry what SWARM stands for, no one would remember, but I’m told reliably that it’s an acronym for Smart Work Assignment Resource Management. It’s a carefully organized stack of jobs organized by frequency. If you’re going to do a specific job, you take the card and put it back in the “Done” box when you’re finished. Not very high-tech, but effective. (FYI, SWARM does not keep records of who works or how much they work.)

By the way, saying “I’ve never done this before” doesn’t buy you anything. A big part of work here is learning to do new things. “Try it, you’ll like it!” may not always work, but at least you’ve learned a bunch of things.

Another way that Elderberry teaches folks is through our Repair Café.  

This was started by our Living Rightly on Earth group to encourage repairing rather than replacing items.  It has become a place where the folks who know how to do something teach the folks who don’t – like sharpening tools, repairing a lamp, tightening the rungs on a stool!

Elderberry’s Woodshop and machine shop (known as the Forge) are another example. The folks with skills will help others learn to use this equipment or maybe just find the screw or pliers they need.

So, I’ve learned some things while working and living here at Elderberry over these past 8 years:

+ It is a lot of fun working with other people.  

+ If you’re a Zen weeder or you’re fussy about the way the silverware drawer is arranged or there’s only room for one on the riding lawn mower, it’s also okay to work by yourself. 

+ If you’re the kind of person who gets uptight if someone doesn’t do their “fair share”, give it up.  Unless it warrants a community intervention, your irritation will only make you unhappy and probably won’t affect the person you think is slacking.  

Which brings me to—

+ Work because you want to help the community. Use your skills to make life better for everyone. Feel good about that! 

And that brings me to—

+ Whether you’ve done some jobs all your life or you never ever thought you would be doing this, you can learn something new. Really! And that is definitely good!